Saucy Memoirs
by Saucy Fanfictions
Summary: Rose and Kanaya decided spend their time as wisely as they can while trapped on a meteor for 3 years.  That, of course, includes writing saucy fanfiction.


"Kanaya, would you like to dabble in the art of writing with me?" Rose Lalonde, a bright young lady with an eye for knowledge and a talent for writing, inquired of her new friend, as well as love interest, Kanaya Maryam.

"Yes, I would quite enjoy that. This meteor has made everyone so terribly droll. It is perfect material to write a, as you say, saucy fanfiction." Kanaya responded, her luminescent form lighting the very stylish quarters that have been designated for the two young ladies. Kanaya was right when she said that everyone was droll, for it appeared that the extended time spent on the meteor had caused many of its occupants to partake in somewhat…unsettling hobbies. What with Gamzee making sloppy makeouts with everyone's dead corpses, Karkat obsessing over the bucket and letter he had received from John, and Dave and Terezi creating terrible works of art that they deemed "ironic".

"Oh Kanaya, you know how much I enjoy my saucy fanfiction, especially when it pertains to scandalous senile wizards stroking their beards and requesting more wands."

"Why Miss Lalonde, if I didn't know any better, I would say that you have an odd obsession with saucy wizards." Kanaya giggled. She knew very well about Rose's interest in ancient wizards. To be honest she found it rather charming.

"I dare say that you've begun to understand the concept of sarcasm, Miss Maryam." Rose smiled. "Now," she said, "back to the subject of saucy fanfiction. Would it please you to possibly write about our fellow travelers?"

Kanaya giggled once more. "I dare say that would be rather enjoyable. Oh, if only Nepeta were alive. She would have provided wonderful insight as to the matter of romantic interests. "Shipping" was what she called it. She adorned her wall with rather charming illustrations of said shippings. I am still quite perplexed as to how she was able to predict the projectile patterns of future relationships, an example being Karkat and Gamzee's moirallegiance."

Rose smiled. "That is rather odd. Did she have anything to ship about us?"

Kanaya giggled. "Oh she had plenty to ship darling. She shipped a matesprite relationship between us. It was very flushed indeed if I do say so myself."

Rose chuckled. "She sounds like a very philosophical young lady. Who else would be able to master the art of sociological interactions among young trolls, as well as the sociological implications of human and troll interactions?"

Kanaya sighed. "It's a shame she was brutally murdered by Gamzee. Of course, I would never hold any of these murders against him. The murderous nature of his blood had finally caught up to him. I suppose it was better for him to relieve his murderous tensions by killing us than for him to kill either you or Dave. Still, I did enjoy the company of Nepeta. Feferi was also a very bright companion who is, or was, arguably the happiest among us all."

Rose frowned. "I wish I had met them before they tragically left. It would have been grand if we could have all made saucy fanfictions together."

Kanaya giggle. "Oh, that would have been splendid! Nepeta could have made a wonderful pot of Camomile tea, or as she called it, "Cameowmile". Feferi would have provided the wonderful laughter and humorous fish puns. I, of course, would provide the vast array of pillows and blankets, as well as some delectable cucumber sandwiches."

"What would I have done," Rose asked

"Why," Kanaya said, "you would have provided us with your wonderful writing intellect of course!"

Rose giggled. "Why of course! How silly of me to forget. Speaking of writing, we really should get started with these saucy memoirs."

"Oh," Kanaya said, "I was not aware that saucy fanfictions were also categorized as memoirs."

Rose smiled. "Usually no, they're not, however I would much rather call them saucy memoirs. I hope you don't mind."

Kanaya giggled. "I don't mind at all! I dare say this writing business is quite fun."

Rose smiled. "It only gets better."

**The two proceeded to write one of the sauciest memoirs ever written in paradox space.**

**FIN.**


End file.
